Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Hump Day

I made it to Wednesday. And still feeling really good. Of course I have had my moments of feeling really low and I have been able to snap back really quickly, thank God for helping with that. I have some energy and the house is really clean all the time. I have been listening to music and relaxing outside since the weather is better. Now that cooler weather is around, my moods are increasing day by day. I HATE summer and all the heat. I am incredibly miserable in summer like some people would be in winter freezing.  But in winter, I will be the first outside rolling around making snow angels and having snowball fights lol But with the weather like it is here in Kentucky right now.. if it stayed this way year round.. my mood would be wonderful all the time lol

Bill and I are doing really good. Of course with him being bipolar, he has his moments which automatically send me into a spiral, but we've been together so long now that we know how to get past it and I don't just walk away from him.. I know its not him.

I guess the biggest thing that bugs me right now is how we have no time together. We wake up in the morning around 9am. He leaves for work around 10:15am. (but boss has him in earlier than that some days) He gets home from work between 7:30pm and 9:30pm. Most days he doesn't even get his 15 minute lunch. A lot of times, he leaves from work at night and stops by his uncle's house on the way home.. which turns into an hour or so. Or comes home and goes back there and stays a while. Or even in and out. It seems like we have a total of an hour a day that we actually communicate. And that hurts.. makes me feel like he just doesn't want to be around me.  I go to bed around 11:30 or so.. I don't want to change my sleeping schedule just to sit in a room with him silently while he plays games on the computer.

I know its really not that big of a deal I guess.. but to me it is. I just wish he would tell his boss that he will be working less hours and work out a good schedule.. or come home and be with me after work.. or take a day off and make it a good day.  Instead this is a side of his life that I do not even know. I've never met anyone from work and only seen his Uncle once and his cousin twice. I feel left out I guess.

But things are better.. I feel more confident right now and I feel more energy. I don't cry all day every day right now. I can laugh and even sing around the house. Of course, my doggies have become my best friends. They get to hear it all. When I cry, they are right there licking at my tears. I just wish it were human contact a bit more often. :/

No comments:

Post a Comment